


Blind Spot

by fauxpromises



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Friendship, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 04:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16032965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauxpromises/pseuds/fauxpromises
Summary: And despite all his regret, he can't help but think that she's been awfully blind for the longest time.





	Blind Spot

**Author's Note:**

> Transferred from fanfiction.net, this work was originally published on 02/17/11.

Sometimes he wonders why she bothers with him, at times like this most especially.

The large entry room of his mansion is stark and quiet while he's sitting on the plush loveseat, a half-drained glass of wine loosely gripped in one hand. Standing adjacent, she's in the midst of an increasingly familiar tirade that always seems to occur when she visits Meltokio these days.

The voice of his closest friend ( _only_ friend, if he's being truthful about it) is eclipsed by the persistent tapping of the rain outside, but it doesn't make much of a difference. He's got this one memorized by now, as well as the underlying message: _I cared for you before, but you're changing for the worst and I can't say how much longer I'll be around to tell you so._

He takes a stinging sip of the red liquid, one that comes off more flippant than he had intended. The taste of alcohol is something he privately despises, one that's inextricably tied up with parties and banquets as a young child and his mother's ever-despondent face. He wouldn't have even put it to his lips in the first place this evening if he wasn't expressly intent on the feeling of oblivion it would bring.

The steely expression on the face of the young woman from Mizuho does little to hide her distinct insult at his disregard. But it's the thing she says next that nearly chokes him on his drink.

"—so I thought you at least still deserved to know I'd be leaving soon. The details are mostly classified, but it's an assassination mission with a particularly high chance of fatality—"

Zelos never remembers what he said after that, except that it had to have been cruel and uncalled for because her eyes harden and her lips become a flat line of some emotion between hatred and despair.

And that is the last thing he says to her before everything changes.

* * *

He knows from the start that what he's doing is without honor. A traitor is condemned by every man alike. Even among wild beasts there is a code of loyalty to the pack, an interconnected system of survival based on the simple fact that the lone wolf will perish.

They said no man was an island, but he supposes that he was _born_ an island and fair play had been off the table from the very start.

So when he falls in with Lloyd and his lot, it bothers him deeply that there's an unwarranted feeling of guilt that follows him as he learns more about their stories. The stubborn, idealistic teen from the other world had the utmost determination to save his friend from the fate that had been decided for her. He was the only person who just would not accept the facts.

Yet, even as he's mentally laughing at the vain effort, there's something about it that he can't entirely fault the boy for.

In some way that makes him feel almost sick, Lloyd reminds him a bit of Sheena. While the entire world seemed to treat him as though he would never be anything more than Chosen, she had always had the ridiculous notion that this was not what defined him as a person. She thought the fact that she cared about him— _once_ cared about him at least—was enough to make him believe that he was more than what he had been born into.

Lloyd had that same insistence that Colette was a person, that she had a right to live her life and share it with the ones she loved. For the entirety of his life, Zelos had been taught the exact opposite. One's happiness and dreams had no place in deciding the life they would be made to live, and to assume otherwise only made the inevitable tragedy all the more painful.

* * *

When they meet again, the plain truth is that she is different than before.

And while it cuts him to the center that it is entirely his fault in the first place, he can't help feeling thankful that their final parting had ended in a fight. It saved him some of the effort of pushing her away, breaking her down until she hated him as much as he hated himself.

Lloyd makes it even easier. He has the natural inclination toward being a friend to anyone in need, so of course it is he and his friends that encourage Sheena to overcome her fear of Volt, and they who give her determination when Corrine is gone. There's a pang of envy that says _he_ should have given her his support…but maybe that isn't envy after all. It's not a selfish impulse, he thinks, as much as it is regret for a broken bond of loyalty.

And as he finally confronts them with it, it's already apparent that he's made the biggest mistake of his life.

_"…you were our friend…"_

_"…trusted you…_

_"…a good person…"_

Zelos had told them that he hated being Chosen enough to betray his friends. Yes, that was true. So he sold them out to the very people who created the misery that every one of his kind had suffered, strung along on a promise of freedom that was just another lie.

He has a new plan in mind as he disappears with Colette, but he still cannot explain to himself why the only people who ever truly thought he was worth giving a damn about were always the ones he fought against the most.

* * *

Sheena makes a statement out of not talking to him after that, not even meeting his eyes. Lloyd has an easier time forgiving, even trusting again, but she's twice shy after how many times he's turned his back to her.

And despite all his regret, he can't help but think that she's been awfully blind for the longest time. Colette would understand his feelings toward it, even if she wouldn't agree with his course of action. Any Chosen knew the unwritten code of detachment that they were all compelled to follow. The circumstances that surrounded them were a curse that brought sorrow to anyone that dared to get close to them, and nothing in the world could change that simple truth.

Zelos had said it to her before, without thinking. She was going to have to move on with her life, forget about ever having met him. He didn't want her around when the powers-that-be reclaimed him. He would become as his parents had, bred and then quietly forgotten about as he spiraled down, down, down.

"I have nothing I can give you, sweetheart," he'd said almost laughingly, forced into a corner by one of their many verbal altercations, "and I think I've wasted enough of your time by now, wouldn't you agree?"

But now everything had changed once again, and maybe he'd resigned himself to his fate just a bit too soon.

* * *

It's the night before their final stand when he finds himself sleepless, lying wide awake in his uncomfortable bed at the inn. Everything is bizarrely quiet and he's having a hard time believing that the very real possibility exists that he could truly be free by the following night.

The sound of the doorknob slowly turning gives him cause to jump—it's the dead of night, after all. He's been expecting that Sheena would confront him sooner or later, yet he'd still not really known what he would say when that time came. Quickly he fakes sleep; faking was something he excelled at.

The ninja enters with silent footsteps, but the gentle sound of her breathing is familiar to his senses. He's tempted to ask her what she's doing in here, curiosity only increasing when he feels the weight of her sitting down at the edge of the bed. Her sigh makes him wonder if she's as relieved as he is that they won't be having one of their late-night arguments tonight.

Softly, her voice pierces the silence, her tone such that she seemed to almost be talking to herself. "I wonder if you really believe we can change things tomorrow. If we do, I hope you and I can be friends again, like before…"

She pauses, another light sigh of nervousness escaping her. Silly Sheena, the only person in the world who would be nervous about talking to someone she thought was asleep.

"I…I'm not mad at you anymore for what you did to us," she went on. "I have a hundred _other_ reasons to hate you, but…some of this is my fault too. I always tried to forget about who you were, but you never did. I shouldn't have been mad at you for not being able to deal with it…"

Sheena shifted from her position, standing up from the foot of the bed. Her voice appeared very close to him after that, and he guessed she must have knelt down beside him.

"Maybe if we make it through this, you'll forgive me someday for not seeing it sooner."

In the morning, as they set off, he can't help wondering if he dreamed it. But when he looks over at her, she meets his eyes this time, and the mutual smile they share seems to answer the question.

* * *

A month has gone by since the end of their journey, and though he's finally free, the days still seem empty. Seles visits him once a week now from her new home in Ozette, but other than that Zelos finds himself surprised at how very surreal his life seems. He was accustomed to the peculiar type of loneliness that one felt when surrounded by people, rather than the actual reality of being alone.

Maybe most surprising to him is that after years of wishing for this, he still isn't happy. He never knew it, but he _had_ no dreams of what he would do with a life he could control. Once, in a moment of bitter honesty, he had sworn to someone that he would belong to her forever if he only could. And now that he finally had the ability to fulfill that promise, he couldn't help wondering if he had lost her somewhere in the midst of it all.

* * *

Another month passes, and there is a knock at his door one morning.

The former Chosen is wary when he opens it on a familiar face, not as certain as he had once been about his skill at reading her expression. It's a pretty big relief when _she_ decides to take control of the situation.

"So, I've been told I have you to thank for the new emissary job, Mr. Wilder?" She's smiling and he doesn't want to question it, because it reminds him of a time when her smile echoed words that he never dared to tell her.

He decides to answer honestly.

"Yep indeed, but…with some selfish motivation, I'll admit." He gives a teasing smile of his own, and it's of the genuine variety that he has always saved for her.

She quirks an eyebrow at his response. "How do you figure?"

"You showed up _here,_ didn't you?" Now he's all-out smirking at her, and he could almost swear he's fifteen years old again and reaching out shyly to take his new friend's hand despite his practiced air of confidence.

It's a memory that doesn't feel so distant after all as he catches her up in a hug, her laughter a long-lost music to his ears, and he knows then that she missed this as much as he did.


End file.
